Guilt
by TexGleek15
Summary: AU: Between GOF and OOTP Percy and Harry get into a fight and Harry reveals some secrets. *contains self harm* triggers! Rated T because Harry loses his temper. Better summary inside.


**Hey y'all! I'm so so sorry for not updating earlier. Life happens unfortunately. Anyway, I had this idea and I hope y'all don't hate it. I would like to apologize for all grammar and spelling mistakes. **

**It is super sad and dark, and I apologize for that. This may be a trigger for some people, it deals with self-harm. **

**Summary: AU majorly: During the summer between GOF and OOTP Harry is at the Burrow and runs into Percy. It is a day or so after the fight between Percy and Mr. and Mrs. Weasley. He is there to pick up a couple of his things and spots Harry. Harry and Percy have a fight and Harry lets out a few truths. **

**Disclaimer: I don't own HP**

Harry was sitting outside of the burrow under a tree just enjoying the sunshine. Ron and Mr. Weasley and went to pick up Hermione from her house, the twins were in their room probably making a mess, and Ginny and Mrs. Weasley were in the kitchen cooking lunch. He has his eyes closed when he hears the pop of someone apparating, he knows its Ron, Mr. Weasley, and Hermione, they would have flooed in. Opening his eyes, he sees a flash of red hair and a sweater vest.

It was Percy.

Standing Harry went to meet him, he knew about the argument that Percy had had with his parents the night before and was curious as to why he was back. Coming closer to the red head, Harry could see that he was not happy. He was glaring at the black-haired boy, as if he had killed his family.

"Hello Percy. Didn't think you would be back here? Your mum is cooking lunch if you want to stay." Harry informed him.

Scoffing Percy simply glared and walked around him to the back of the house, "I am not here for lunch Potter. I came to collect the rest of my belongings."

Nodding his head Harry didn't reply just simply watched him. Percy continued to look into the back of the house trying to see if he could get past his mother and sister. Sighing, he finally took out his wand and magically opened his window and accio'd his belongings to him, before turning and walking away.

Seeing that he was about to leave the boy who lived had to try and get him to stay, he knew how much his family missed him, "Why don't you stay for lunch. I know your family would like it."

Freezing suddenly Percy whirled around and glared hard at the fourteen-year-old, "How would you know what they would like Potter? You don't care about them! All you care about is yourself! If you actually cared about them, you wouldn't put them in danger by being here or lying about You-Know-Who being back!"

Shocked at Percy's accusations Harry felt his temper rise. He had a random memory pop into his head of Hermione and Ron telling him that he had a wicked temper and sometimes a short fuse. He didn't know where that thought had come from, but it worked in mellowing his temper a bit. Stating through clenched teeth Harry responded to the accusations, "Actually, Percy I would know what your family would like, because unlike you I actually listen to them. I listened to your mother cry last night after you stormed out. I listened as your father comforted her. I listened as your siblings wondered where their big brother went. I don't mean physically, I mean all around. Where the brother the twins loved to mess with because that is how they show affection, the brother they wanted to be proud of them, where the brother that taught Ron and Ginny how to read. The one that read to all four of them at night after Bill and Charlie went off to Hogwarts. The one that let Ginny climb into bed with him the night before his first year at Hogwarts because she would miss him. They would like that brother to come home."

While Harry had been speaking neither of them realized that they had gained an audience. Mrs. Weasley and Ginny had heard Percy yelling and come out to see him, the same with twins. Mr. Weasley, Ron, and Hermione head Harry start speaking when they flooed in. They watched the two with curious interest and a sense that something major was about to happen.

Before Harry could finish addressing Percy's accusations, the red head spoke, "Alright so you know a bit about my family, but that doesn't mean you care about them! You still put them in danger especially Ron! He is constantly getting hurt or into trouble because you! I have never once seen you feel the least bit guilty for what you have put him and the rest of my family through!"

Hearing Percy's hate filled words finally snapped the rest of Harry's resolve not to fully lose his temper. He didn't want to yell at a Weasley, he held a great deal of love and respect for the family. Hearing that Percy didn't believe he felt guilty set him off, "YOU DON'T THINK I FEEL GUILTY ABOUT WHAT HAS HAPPENED TO YOUR FAMILY?! YOU DON'T THINK THAT EVERY TIME RON RUBS HIS LEFT SHOULDER OR HIS RIGHT LEG THAT I DON'T FEEL GUILTY?! RON FELL OFF THAT BLOODY HORSE BECAUSE HE THOUGHT I WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN HIM AND HIS LEG GOT BIT BECAUSE OF DEATH EATERS AND VOLDEMORT! YOU DON'T THINK THAT I FEEL GUILTY EVERY TIME HERMIONE RUBS THE SCAR ON HER WRIST FROM DEVIL'S SNARE THAT I DON'T FEEL GUILTY?! I TOLD THEM TO TURN AROUND AND GO GET HELP! THEY SAID NO THAT THEY WEREN'T GOING TO LEAVE ME! YOU DON'T THINK I FELT GUILTY EVERY NIGHT AFTER THE DISASTER WITH THE CHAMBER HEARING GINNY SCREAM WITH NIGHTMARES?! KNOWING THAT IF I HAD JUST TOLD SOMEONE ABOUT THAT BLASTED DIARY GINNY WOULDN'T HAVE SUFFERED THAT YEAR! I NEVER SHOWED GUILT ON MY FACE BECAUSE I TRY NOT TO SHOW TOO MUCH IN PUBLIC! PEOPLE EXPECT ME TO BE INVINCIBLE PERCY! THEY EXPECT ME TO SAVE THE DAY BUT THEY COULDN'T GIVE A DAMN ABOUT ME ANY OTHER TIME EXCEPT FOR YOUR FAMILY AND A SELECT FEW OTHERS! BY THE WAY WHY WOULD I LIE ABOUT VOLDEMORT BEING BACK?! I HAVE ENOUGH FAME I DON'T WANT ANYMORE! HELL I DON'T WANT THE FAME I HAVE NOW! SO, DON'T YOU DARE SAY THAT I DON'T FEEL GUILTY! IF YOU NEED MORE PROOF, HERE IS THAT PROOF!"

Harry took his wand and cancelled the glamour that he had placed on his arm and presented them to Percy. Going up the boy's arm starting near his wrist and ending mid-forearm were several small white lines. Some new, some old, some in straight lines, some crisscrossed. **(just wanted to point out I have no idea how his arm would look like) **

Hearing a gasp from beside them Harry quickly reapplied the glamour and turned to face their audience. Everyone had tears in their eyes, but it was Mrs. Weasley who gasped. Hermione and Ron seeing that Harry was about to break down, quickly walked over and grabbed his arms. Leading him inside they placed him in a chair in the kitchen before sitting on either side of him. The rest of the Weasleys including Percy followed suit and sat down around the kitchen table. Knowing that Harry needed a few minutes to recover in peace Ron suggested that everyone eat.

After lunch, which allowed Harry to recover his senses enough to realize what happened and what he had revealed, quietly tried to get out his chair to sneak away. A hand clamped on either of his arms from his two best friends stopped him in his tracks. It always surprised him how much they knew him, they weren't even looking at him. They were in their own conversations! The more he thought about it the more he realized it wasn't that surprising given what they have been through and how much he knows them. He hoped that they would just let the matter drop, though he knew it was a long shot.

Turning to him Ron and Hermione each moved their hands down and grasped their best friend's hands, before turning to the rest of the family. He was their little brother, they couldn't protect him from everything in the world, but they sure as hell were going to protect him from nosy family members who want to help but actually hinder instead. Ron faced the black-haired boy and still saw the scrawny boy in the too big clothes that he first met on the train heading to Hogwarts, "Harry, Hermione and I have told you a million times you aren't to blame for any of it mate. You were the only one who could save the stone and beat him. As for the leg that definitely wasn't your fault that was Wormtail's fault he was the coward than ran instead of facing the consequences of his actions." Hermione picked up where Ron left off, "Ron is right Harry, that scar from the Devil's Snare is not your fault, it got me before I could move, and I had to tug my wrist free. We were not going to let you go down there by yourself. You are our best friend, our brother, of course we are going to go where you go."

Silence reigned over the kitchen for a moment to let it sink into Harry's head before Ginny spoke up, "Harry what happened with the Chamber is not your fault. You couldn't have known what that diary was. If you had told someone about it, they might have brushed you off, they didn't even know I had it. I should have told someone when I started to fear the thing, but I was too scared to do so. It's not your fault it is only Lucius Malfoy's and Voldemort's fault. Understand?"

Harry heard what his friends were saying, but he still couldn't help but feel guilty. If Voldemort hadn't picked him and killed his parents, if he hadn't survived their lives would be different. The entire family could tell that Harry still felt guilty and it was George who gave the solution and some help that Harry needed, "Harry what you're doing to your wrist is not healthy, if you cut too deep you could die. That would hurt all of us, you don't want that do you?" He waited for Harry to shake his head before continuing, "Alright how about instead of cutting you go running when you feel guilty. It's less dangerous than cutting and it'll keep you in shape for the quidditch season. Though I think everyone would like it if someone went with you when you ran. That way they can make sure that you don't over do it. Can you do that for us Harry?"

Harry nodded his head, he knew his friends would find out eventually about what he was doing. He knew what he was doing wasn't healthy, but he couldn't help it, it made him feel better. It relieved the stress in his body. Everyone was thinking through things, so they were startled when Percy spoke, "Harry I am so sorry for what I said. While I am not fully on board with believing that Voldemort is back, you were right you wouldn't lie about it. I also know that if Fudge's ideas on the matter are going to be how the ministry responds you're going to need an inside man in the ministry. I'll help you any way I can with anything. Just let me know, but for me to be accepted I need to have no contact with any of you and for people to think that we are fighting. I'm sorry." Harry nodded and believed that Percy was sincere. He also believed that he could do what George suggested, quickly standing he rushed up the stairs to Ron's room. Digging in his trunk he found a small piece of silver metal. Rushing back downstairs he handed it to George. He knew with his friends, his family, by his side he could do anything.

**This is not how I expected this to go. I hope y'all liked it! Don't forget to review and tell me what you think please! **


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